ROADKILL

Blahg blahg blahg

This entry will be completely random and perhaps lacking in structure, content, meaning… it will be a lot like what we have come to know as “life.”

What can I say… I used to write a lot.  More goes on lately in my dreams than in my waking hours.  I have horrible sleep.  Night terrors, nightmares, insomnia.  It comes and goes throughout my life.  I can tell you it is maddening.  All I want is a night of peace, rest, sleep.  It is so out my reach, completely unattainable.  So, I reach out to the pharmaceutical community…

Ativan™
Ambien™
Lunesta™

I actually don’t trust Lunesta™.  How can any company who spends that much money on an advertising campaign actually be trustworthy.  Anyone ever try the stuff?  As far as I know, Ambien™ puts me to sleep and keeps me there, but no doctor I have met will write me a full time script.  Their reasoning: it is addictive. 

Ok, so let me get this straight… there is a drug that actually lets me get to sleep, keeping me asleep peacefully throughout the night for 8 uninterupted hours, with no druggy hangover, allowing me to wake up refreshed and energetic feeling 10 years younger… And you won’t give me a prescription because I may become addicted to that??? Addicted to… ACTUALLY SLEEPING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS.  Hmmmm, yeah that sounds like something to steer clear of.

Anyway, I am graduating from Harvard in a couple of months.  I know, bizarre.  I am getting a pro-sumer digital SLR camera.  When I see you next, I will take a wacky picture of you with some weirdo fisheye lens.

The van must go.  Replacing it with a RAV4 V6 (the MANLY RAV4).  Manly why?  How about 270hp?  That’s what I thought.

Anyway, I am at work… the shitty job sucking every ounce of my life away from 9-5, M-F.  I cannot wait to leave this fucking place!

With love
RW

have you tried taking melatonin?

i started taking it after it was suggested to my brother, it works for me, and it’s not as heavy handed as most sleeping pills.

I feel your pain.  I have all 3 types of insomnia - difficulty falling asleep, difficulty staying asleep, and premature waking - and can’t remember the last time I got a really good night’s sleep.

The only think I’ve found that works even remotely well is Tylenol PM.  Probably also not the best thing to take on a daily basis, but it is over-the-counter and considered non habit-forming.  Two of those, a glass of wine and a “white noise” CD helps me to shut off my brain and go to sleep without too much difficulty.  I still wake up during the night, but not nearly as often, and I can go right back to sleep, rather than laying awake thinking about how tired I am.

Everyone’s insomnia is different, so I have no idea if this will help with yours, but from someone who has battled the problem, it’s worth a shot.

There are also some great relaxation techniques that you can try.  Some of them require someone else’s participation (relaxing massage, vocal prompts) but a lot of them you can do on your own.  They’ll at least help you get to sleep, if not stay asleep.

Good luck.

Hope things are going better for you in the sleep department.  I did want to say a belated “way to go” on your graduation from Harvard, so congrats!