ROADKILL

Friday, May 27, 2005

P.S. I am still Jewish ;)

the spiritual side of me?

here’s something i never thought i’d see:

Unity Center Cambridge
_________

Join us for services
this Sunday at 11:00am

New monthlong series starting--
The Four Spiritual Habits of Highly Effective People*

Learn the essential practices that will take your spiritual growth
to a whole new level--and change your life!

plus guest music with Russell Wolff and friends

10:30 meditation
11:00 celebration
Morse School Theater
40 Granite Street, Cambridge

Details:  http://www.unitycambridge.org
Questions?  Call 617.349.3440

We look forward to seeing you soon!

Blessings,
the Unity Center Cambridge community

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

pain

as i settle in for another fun filled night of excruciating pain and insomnia, i find myself wondering about the meaning of it all.  i need something to take my mind off my reality, so i am writing.  we are well into week seven of this pain.  i saw a doctor in a pain management clinic today.  so, more pills… pills for pain, pills for sleep.  this place looks like a pharmacy.  i feel like i am looking over at the last night stand elvis saw.  but, my choices are not so simple.  i have to give this more time.  the herniation is between C4-C5 and C5-C6.  the pain is unlikely to quit soon.  physical therapy, pain meds, time, patience.

meaning.

there it is again…

meaning

what is the meaning of all of this?

as many of you know, this is not the first time in my life i have endured prolonged pain.  i do not complain about it.  but the question is always there.  why?  what purpose does this serve me or anyone else who goes through this?  i thought i found an answer last week in NYC.  i was talking to my father.  he had gone through a very similar problem in his neck when he was 28.  we spent a couple of days talking about his experience, his treatment options, his pain, etc.  is this the meaning of my pain?  to share my experience with someone else later?  so, that if i become a father someday, i will know what to say to my son or daughter when they have to go through something like this.  if they need surgery for any reason, i can tell them what i went through 3 years ago i suppose.  is there comfort in experience?  is there hope in the retelling?  is there relief waiting after the ordeal?

does anyone read this?

Sunday, May 22, 2005

pain management

vicodin

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Herniated discs, insomnia, narcotics

And other stories to tell your family at dinner.  So, that’s the latest diagnosis after the second MRI.  I have 2 large herniated discs in my neck.  Outside of the obvious pain, exhaustion, and insomnia… if anyone has some experience or advice on this type of injury, please feel free to get in touch with me.  thanks!

-r

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Awakenings

I was sitting here just now, at 5:45AM, feeling so driven to write to you.  You, the anonymous you who may read this.  I write so rarely, I feel as if I am in a coma, then re-emerge to tell you something.  I was so inspired by the story of that firefighter in Buffalo, NY recently.  He spent 10 years in a coma following a horrible fire fighting injury only to emerge one day and speak to his family.  He was lucid for many hours. 

This has been a strange year so far, and a painful one.  I injured my shoulder/back/neck (still not sure) about 5 weeks ago.  Since then, I have been in a constant state of managing excruciating pain, trying to meet my daily responsibilities, and fighting like hell to sleep at night.  I have been losing the war on all three fronts.  This is so frustrating.  I am sick of talking to those who are close to me about my pain.

Anyway, I know I have survived worse, although in all my hospitilization my pain was either far less, or it was managed far better.  So, here I lay after yet another 2-3 hour of sleep night.  I was trying to get a prescription for Lunesta.  Any doctors out there?  Got any samples?  My insurance doesn’t cover it yet.

The music itself is doing well, although I am too injured to pick up my guitar.  Liz’s record sounds great and is almost finished.  KARMA CO. is getting airplay all over the US and Canada.  It looks like some tracks from the disc will be used in a new MTV series.  (not telling which one til it’s final)

Any other insomniacs out there?  I would love to hear from you.

Thanks!
russell